My relationship with the internet

I have been using computers since I was nearing 3 years old, which sounds actually terrible, but for the longest time was the most beautiful thing to me. It was my home inside my home, and a way to interact with an inhabited world rather than with the emptiness of the hole in the mountain I grew up in.

I had a couple blogs, already then. They say "you have to look into the things that have been consistant throughout your life to figure out the important things", and for me, that's fucking blogging. The most memorable one was one about "graphic design", the digital equivalent of mixing paint together on a canvas.

I have never substantially had "social media". I have had a tumblr blog for about 9 years, which I do not count as a tradional social media. The lack of algorithms, only seeing content that I want to see, from people that essentially act as curators of beautiful things: paintings, photography, extracts from books, and actually smart funny quips, make me say so.

It also has been a place to express myself into the void, there is maybe 1 or 2 people who read my soul on there, which I do as a way to exterionalise my thoughts and feelings, a bit like here actually, but much more spontaneous. I am essentially in constant dialogue with my past and future self, does it count as social if you ever only interact with yourself? I know this comes with its own baggage; I once saw a book in my favourite bookstore titled "No Archive Will Restore You", and I believe the book isn't actually about its title (I have yet to read it), but those words stuck with me nonetheless.